Miss Cranky Pants rolls ’em up…

June 17, 2009 at 4:34 am | Posted in Life, Reality Bites, Web 2.0 | Leave a comment
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cllawFor the first time since the advent of web 2.0 & UGC, at 4:12 am on Wednesday July 17 2009, I quite literally find myself in a somewhat insidious position…..an insidious position of wanting to rant and rail against the injustice of the place I currently find myself in (and have been in since April), and yet……….it’s out there……..and out “there” is that whole….identity 2.0 – digitital footprint thing.

There are many ways in which one can express ones self in 2009 on the “intrawebs”. I have expressed myself somewhat through media such as flickr, facebook, twitter etc. Whilst doing so I have also filtered myself even whilst raging spitefully, knowing that it would be “naughty” to do otherwise, given the scenario and unknown future that lays before me.

I have always journalled (unfortunately in the dark ages with pen and paper). Fitfully it might be said. Peaks, troughs. Mostly the troughs – as a way of venting and letting out emotional turmoil, as do many people from what I understand.

As a naturally introverted and not gregarious person by nature I suspect the concept of blogging to a) communicate emotion and b) communicate with others serves a dual purpose for me intrinsically.

But, I digress – back to my insidious position…..now….10 working days (8 physically on site) left in the current job (technically TWO senior jobs) due to Change Management and involuntary redundancy I just SO want to vent my emotions, climb a building and scream at the world. They are so over whelming me at every turn with their power at the moment.

Crappily – a) my cognitive rational brain understands every step – its all logical, and after all CM is about positions not people and doesn’t reflect on my personally
b) tell that to the ego or superego (can’t remember which – psych 101 was like 100 years ago) (of which I thought I was not overly endowed with tbh) which SO sees this as a reflection of everything I stand for as an individual
c) not sure there is anywhere or to anyone where i can tell it like it really is. And THAT frankly SHITs me.

Ergo, this all means, I feel I cannot vent truely in a way that is cathartic and lets it out. I cannot gnash my teeth truely virtually, even though I have made a vague chomping noise here and there of late.

I have to get one jibe in…just one…as veiled as I can make it.

Post-graduate qualifications. Necessary for the job. Yet the organisation is fundamentally about potential, and reaching it – alternate pathways. Not having the post-grad qualification or the associated robust as long as your arm research portfolio (by extension of said qual), doesn’t this automatically conflict with the precept of reaching ones potential if it is a limiting agent to entry?

Bottom line….. I am a cranky crabby bitch atm – my back is in the corner….don’t mess with me

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